First of all...I have to say that I'd just about given up on the blogging thing. Summer was too long and too short all at the same time...too long stressing about jobs and life and the direction both were taking...and once everything had resolved itself and I could relax there was hardly any time left. I felt uninspired. And then back to school and utter chaos and I thought maybe I just wouldn't come back to this.
But then today, while cleaning my apartment, I discovered a Christmas gift from my sister. She had taken her favorites of my posts from the previous year and bound them with a foreward that she had written herself. So I curled up with a cup of tea and read them and they made me laugh and cry and remember and wish I could forget all at the same time. And I realized the original reasons that I started to write here - catharsis and memoir. And so I'm back.
School has started...and it will be my last EVER year of school. This is a bizarre feeling for me. I have completed programs, obtained a diploma and a degree. But in each of those experiences of finality, I never really felt like it was the end. I didn't go to my McGill graduation. Part of the reason was that I had just started a new job and an important program was rolling out that weekend...but had it really been important to me, I could have manipulated things. The real reasons for my ambivalence were 1) I truly felt like I did not deserve that degree due to my mediocre effort and performance, and 2) I knew, in my heart of hearts, that it would not be the end of my formal education.
But this time it is different. I joke with my family that I'm going to go to medical school next but the truth of the matter is that I have my career now. I have obtained an article with a fantastic firm, far beyond my wildest dreams, in Vancouver and I will (with a little bit of luck and barring anything catastrophic) be a lawyer. I suppose that I could go for a Masters in Law...but really, unless I want to be a professor...this is not a necessary nor important degree to get. And so this is it. This is my last year in school. The last of almost 20 full years. Wow...
In an effort to maximize my experience and have no regrets my new rule this year is to not say "no." If I am asked to participate, help out, volunteer, try something out...then I'm gonna do it. Already this has found me with an injury from a baseball tournament (a very large and colourful bruise from a line drive that hit me while pitching), on an executive board (of a wine tasting club no less), on an ice hockey team (first time skating without a toe pick...I'm very anxious about this) and with a commitment to man a BBQ on Friday (fingers crossed that no one gets food poisoning). I think it's shaping up to be a fantastic, albeit incredibly busy, year. Hopefully one not to forget!
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8 comments:
I actually just checked up on your blog for the first time in months a few days ago, and deemed you one of the officially disappeared bloggers... but then I saw you on Eve's blog again.
So, yeah, I promise this comment is not just a direct result of stalking or anything.
Glad you're back and feeling like this is an endeavour of value again!
Yay! You're back!
You thought you didn't deserve your McGill degree?!?!?!?!
Princess: Thank you...chalk it up to an attempt at self-improvement...I have a knack for abandoning my projects and am trying to turn that around.
Eve: Yeah...it was a half-assed effort for me all around. And because I know that I did no where near my best it just sort of felt hollow.
now you're in a firm, you can blog all sorts of enchanting stories. or disenchanting stories. i can't believe you're going to be a lawyer, that's like jordan saying he's going to be a father!
S'Mat - Haha...true enough...I'm not sure we're qualified OR responsible enough for either one of those jobs!!
P.S. I miss you, my friend!! How are things??
oh lind-zed... things are pretty rough and tumble right now, but i'm in urban planning school and maxing on that. i've got a cunning plan actually.
i've missed you and your blawg, how was the couves this summer? are you going to be there for thanksgiving? i'll just be spitting distance away, assuming i'm spitting on a bus that's taking the ferry over...
ps. i have a male variant of Charlotte... his name is Father Dougal Mcguire Ghostbuster... Dougal for short.
Tom: Will you be available for coffee before/after your ferry ride. Maybe if timing works, I could pick you up and drive you to the airport or something like that. Yes, no?
Jordan: Roger would be the perfect name for the baby. Or Rogina for a girl. Yes...most definitely. Roger Mordecai. I love it!
Just realized that Jordan mentioned my last name in his comment. I do have a strong desire to remain as anonymous as possible and thus I republish the censored version of his comment here:
Jordan:
Personally, Tom and Lindz (absence of denial of the charge makes you complicit) I think my being a father is more palpable than Miss. XXXXX becoming a lawyer. I will grant that both titles are achieved by repeatedly penetrating a dark and bureaucratic void of layer upon layer of dripping delinquent flesh with the purpose of depositing a payload in your superior's pocket (and maybe a little in your own), but who would've seriously thunk that LINDZ would uphold the canon before I could unload mine? There's a little Roger for your return Lindz. Glad to enjoy your cathartic reading material again...
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